I Won't Get Today Back
This, I've repeated to myself as my mantra today.
I won't get today back.
And today feels hard.
We've been going through all of the ups & downs. All of the uncertainties. Sad days. Uplifting days. Today I'm feeling unmotivated & defeated. This, after a few days of feeling whimsical & optimistic. Today, though I feel like I've dropped into a hole.
We've all gotten more news of additional cancellations & I feel just plain defeated. It's good to have some answers & certainties, but still just so disappointing. I'm offering myself the space to feel & be still in this disappointment. Right now kinda sucks. I know it will get better. It will. It won't always be like this.
I'm remembering the quote by Mary Oliver, who wrote, "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift."
Today is a gift. Especially during this pandemic, where people are losing their lives & their loved ones. Life is a precious gift.
I remind myself, as I take my next inhale, that I won't get today back, and I exhale, fully intending to make today count.